


Take Me or Leave Me

by kyluxicle (LadyCamillus), oorsprong



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Dominant Kylo Ren, Force Choking, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Light Bondage, M/M, Possessive Kylo Ren, Public Claiming, Rough Sex, Scheming, Situational Humiliation, Top Kylo Ren, non-sexual choking, ots carry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 06:46:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10531089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCamillus/pseuds/kyluxicle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/oorsprong/pseuds/oorsprong
Summary: When Kylo Ren returns from training with Leader Snoke, he comes back more collected and focused. While Hux appreciates this newfound control, he misses the passion that Ren used to have—especially towards him. In attempt to get Ren back into his bed, Hux sets his sights on a lesser officer in order to bring out Ren’s jealousy. Either Ren will snap out of this cold persona and take him back, or Hux will have to settle for less.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Hux stood at parade rest in the hangar bay, fighting the urge to cross his arms over his chest.  He had to keep every small rebellion of the body in check so that nothing would betray the nervous energy that threatened to overwhelm him.

 

When Kylo Ren departed the Finalizer months ago it was almost an afterthought.  Both knew what they were getting into, and neither required any affirmation from the other at this pause in their sexual relationship.  The thing had either run its course or would pick up again when the knight returned.

 

Now Hux felt heavy with something unnamable.  Anxiety?  Fear?  Absurd, what was there to be afraid of?  He pushed the nagging thought that he did in fact fear Snoke back into the furthest corner of his mind and exhaled in relief when he was notified that the shuttle was approaching on an intercept course.

 

Damn him.  Only coordinates and vague promise that as soon as the Finalizer arrived he’d be there to meet them.  But it’d been half an hour already.  Nonetheless, it was small bit of reassurance that whatever new heights Ren had reached in his training, he hadn’t lost a flair for the dramatic.

 

Finally a small, battered ship entered the hangar—a far cry from Ren’s distinctive Upsilon class shuttle—and landed with a hiss of hydraulics, wind billowing out towards Hux and causing his greatcoat to whip behind him. He forced himself to take a slow steady breath as his anxiety built in anticipation of seeing Ren again. The ramp lowered before the engines had even turned off, and it was a full minute after the bay had gone silent before anything else happened.

 

Hux’s brow furrowed slightly in annoyance as he was made to wait this last minute, and then Ren stepped out of the ship.

 

The first thing Hux noticed was the difference in his gait; his previous loping swagger that Hux had likened to stomping about had been replaced by a walk more smooth and precise. There was a grace to him as he approached, like mist rolling over still water. His appearance remained as plain and dark as ever, though Hux knew from experience that his robes were more complicated than they appeared. As he drew closer Hux could see that his face was bare beneath the hood of his cloak.

 

“Kylo Ren,” Hux says with a curt nod as the knight stood before him.  It was alarming how his features, once prone to shades of emotion, remained schooled and blank.  As though his striking beauty had been carved from stone.

 

Months ago Hux would have been irritated at letting that thought rise to the surface but now he hoped Ren picked up on it.  Ren should be proud of what he’d accomplished and his face was a sight for sore eyes.  The general was not given to emotional displays but it was impossible to pretend he wasn’t glad to see this particular face again.

 

“Welcome back,” he continued.  “Will you be staying aboard indefinitely?”

 

Ren stalled, simply staring at Hux with that impassive gaze for long enough that he wondered if the Knight would choose to ignore his question.

 

“Yes,” he said eventually, and Hux drew in a sharp breath at hearing that warm baritone voice again. “I’m to oversee the operations of the Finalizer and report on the First Order’s dedication to Supreme Leader Snoke and his commands. We will meet at 1900 in conference room A110 to discuss what has happened in my absence.”

 

Without waiting for a reply Ren walked past him to the lift. Hux turned to watch him, feeling off balance from the abruptness. Ren reached the lift and their eyes met briefly before the doors closed and he was gone.

 

***

 

Hux slowly removed his coat and hung it on it’s hook before placing his cap on the shelf above it.  Every limb felt as though it was being subjected to a higher degree of artificial gravity, and he wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until his shift began.  The bottle of Ithorian Mist stashed away for a special occasion had never been more inviting, but he couldn’t go down that road tonight.  It would only worsen the gnawing ache in his chest.

 

He sat on the bed and placed his head in his hands.  What was happening to him?  Kylo Ren was the picture of restraint.  He doubted this new and improved version of the knight would take out his anger on Hux’s ship or pick fights with his stormtroopers, but who was this shell of a man and why did it frighten him so badly?

 

The meeting in the conference room—just the two of them without the threat of intrusion—was nothing more than a routine debriefing.  News from Snoke.  News of the fleet.  Rudimentary plans outlined and put aside.  Ren left him with the same cold indifference he’d experienced in the hangar bay.  

 

It was odd to see him in a working environment without his mask hiding his face. It had always lent the knight a sense of mystery and intimidation that would’ve been undermined by his expressive features, but seeing him bare faced and expressionless was just as intimidating as the mask had been. Moreso perhaps as the mask had also held an over dramatic flare in Hux’s mind. Ren’s eyes seemed darker now and held an intensity that crept under your skin until you felt like you were being dissected by his gaze.

 

It was hard to put his finger on what exactly was missing, but it had something to do with a visceral humanness that Ren had previously displayed. He was flawed, he had weaknesses—things would set him off and throw him from his logical senses. That Kylo Ren had felt attainable. With this new dedication and intensity, it was as though a chasm had opened up between Ren and the rest of the galaxy, and any sense of humanity in him was well beyond the reach or even sight of another person. 

 

With a sigh he went into the refresher to treat himself to a shower, turning the water temperature up enough that it bordered on too much. He wasn’t sure what he expected of Ren’s return, but it hadn’t been this. 

 

Hux stood under the spray of hot water far longer than he needed to, willing it to some how wash away whatever disappointment he felt at not resuming their… relationship where it left off. He hesitated to label it as a relationship as it was nothing more than sex, but he supposed there was nothing else to call it. He had known there was a very real chance that the time all those months ago had been the end, but the coldness he felt from Ren now was not something he’d anticipated.

 

Once dried off and redressed in sleep clothes, he lay in bed and contemplated this change in Ren for far more time than he would’ve liked to. It had been less than a full cycle since the knight had returned, so perhaps he just needed time to acclimate to being around others again. Yes, Hux would reserve his judgement until later.

 

***

 

Later came and Hux absolutely felt judgemental of this new Ren. Two days had passed since Ren’s return, and listening to him talk about their missions and tasks was like listening to a droid prattle on about its programmed subject of expertise. He would quickly shut down any conversations that sidetracked from the immediate matter at hand and there was a palpable charge to the air whenever he became frustrated. It was nice to see at least  _ one _ emotion from Ren, but it was still only frustration aimed at officers who failed to perform to the level expected of them. 

 

It had to end.  Forced to play his hand by the unbearable tension between them, he waited for a quiet moment before addressing the knight in the soft voice he’d reserved for their previous liaisons.

 

“Now that you’re settling in, I suppose you’re eager to get back to the old routine.   _ Our _ old routine,” Hux added, flicking his gaze up to meet Kylo’s own.

 

There was a brief flash of what looked like shock before his stony gaze settled into a scowl. “We can’t afford to waste time on frivolities anymore. Our preoccupation with each other caused us to miss the obvious flaws that allowed the destruction of Starkiller to happen.” Ren paused and Hux saw a tendon in his jaw shift as he clenched his teeth before thickly adding, “Don’t bring this up again.”

 

Hux huffed with annoyance as he watched Ren walk away, and couldn’t help but think of it as running from the situation. It’s possible that he imagined it, but he could’ve sworn he saw a blush rise in the knight’s cheeks before he disappeared again. 

 

Kylo spent the rest of the shift pointedly ignoring Hux, which the general pretended not to notice.  He wouldn’t give the impression to his officers that anything was amiss between them.  Nor would he give up so easily.

 

It did hurt, though, to reflect on what Ren had said about Starkiller’s destruction being the result of their intimacy. It was an insult to them both that they were unable to perform their duties alongside a physical relationship, and Hux could only guess at where this conclusion had come from. Snoke most likely, but it was possible that Ren regretted it and this had been the excuse he’d come up with. 

 

As a direct approach hadn’t worked, Hux tried to be more subtle in reminding Ren of what they used to have. When they were alone discussing something, he made sure to stand just a hair too close and to drop his voice into a soothing tone. He could see it affected Ren from his elusive blushes to continuous hurried exits. Unfortunately, he could also feel Ren growing just as frustrated as he was flustered. He had to play his cards carefully or else he’d push Ren in the wrong direction. 

 

Once or twice Ren shot him a look so full of malice that it alarmed him.  He’d placed his hand besides Ren’s on a table while they viewed a holographic map of the sector and the knight had jerked his hand away with venom in his eyes.  The mood seemed to dissipate as quickly as it had come, Kylo returning to his stoic demeanor—the new status quo.

 

In the same breath though, his hesitance to leave the room at the end of their meetings spoke volumes.

 

Hux decided that rushing this would be his downfall if he wanted Ren back. The times when he made a move too obvious or sudden were when Ren had the worst reactions, and the ones that were more subtle were the times that Ren seemed to accept it. He thought back to how things were before Kylo left to train with Leader Snoke, how they had bickered and fought over strategies and plans before it would lead to one of their bedrooms and they’d fuck with the same passion with which they fought. 

 

Since returning Ren had been more attuned to listening to his ideas and rationalizing things before he argued. If the only thing Ren wanted to talk was business, then fine. They would talk business. But Hux was determined to bring out the passion he’d experienced before Ren returned a contemplative co-commander. 

 

That thought made Hux pause and consider why he was doing this. The Ren here now was one Hux would’ve killed to have in the early days—someone collected and rational, someone who thought before they spoke and considered the options before storming in with his opinions. The whole point of getting a rise out of Ren was to sleep with him. Right? Maybe there was some truth to the knight’s previous statement. This endeavour was becoming a distraction.

 

After a few days of increasingly more subtle attempts and beginning to talk himself out of trying to ignite that spark in Ren again, he had cause to reassess everything.

 

An encounter with hostile forces on what should have been a routine trip planetside had a distressed officer falling over himself to make excuses for lapses in judgement.  He’d remained on the Finalizer and had been in charge of researching the current environment—both natural and political—and in the end they’d lost two troopers with five others wounded.  Had they known of the local governor's recent passing and the ascension of his daughter to the post, they would have adjusted their strategy.

 

Now they were back on the bridge as Ren listened to the man’s blathering and admittedly pathetic groveling before flinging out his hand in a gesture Hux knew too well.

 

“Ren, no! Don’t you dare–”

 

Hux snarled as the shocked subordinate rose into the air with a hideous gasp.  It felt as though time slowed as he watched the skin on the officer's neck contract under invisible pressure and his face drain of color before taking on a purple shade.  Hux rushed forward, shoving Ren’s open shoulder, and the man immediately hit the floor as Ren turned his full attention on the general, eyes flashing.  The wind was knocked from Hux’s lungs as he was pushed through the air until his back hit the steel walls.  A bright flash of light accompanied by harsh crackling cut through Hux’s senses, and Hux found himself gasping with the hissing saber at his throat.

 

He could feel the instability of the raw power as sparks flew and hit his skin like needles. His heart was effectively pounding its way out of his chest as he stood there, momentarily petrified at Ren’s enraged expression, the red of the saber reflecting in his eyes. 

 

Whatever fear held him momentarily frozen cracked and fell away as his own anger rose up.

 

“What the hell has gotten into you!?” he shouted, curling his fingers into his palms so tightly that without the leather gloves he was sure he’d be drawing blood.  Ren’s eyes flicked from his eyes to his mouth for a second, and beneath the anger a vicious thrill stirred inside him to see Ren lose his control like this. It was a glimpse of the old Ren and if there wasn’t a room full of shocked officers watching them in horror, this was the kind of thing that would’ve been followed by a hasty round of sex in his quarters.

 

The moment was over as fast as it had happened and the saber powered down, leaving a static silence in its wake as Ren took a deliberate step back, Hux unintentionally slumping back against the wall. They stood there breathing heavily for another few seconds before Ren turned on his heel and left without a word.

 

***

 

The knight disappeared for an entire day after that, and only the lack of damage reports convinced Hux that he’d locked himself in his quarters and would be better left alone for the time being.  

 

Hux sat at his desk reviewing reports and proposals, a headache starting to form just behind his eyes. He sighed and dragged his hands over his face before leaning back in his chair and staring absently out the viewport. He kept playing and replaying the incident on the bridge in his mind, and that wild recklessness that Ren had shown. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of seconds but it felt like an eon both during the moment and looking back on it. It was good to know that he still had that raw wildness to him, but it wasn’t ultimately what he’d wanted to see. 

 

Yes, he wanted to be able to sleep with Ren again, but more than that he wanted to see the humanity inside of him. During their private moments, Hux had seen Ren let go of his perceived role in the universe to let himself be small and human. Most of their encounters and been passionate and rough, but not without their slow moments. Moments where Hux had seen Kylo’s need to know that Hux wanted him and that he wasn’t just a monster or tool to be used. Before it had been simpler. Just by taking off the mask Ren had been able to shed a layer of that persona, but now his bare face was his mask and it was increasingly difficult to differentiate the two. 

 

It might not be in the best interest of the First Order or the Supreme Leader, but Hux felt a renewed determination to find something to cleave those two aspects apart. It felt necessary, and he told himself it was for Kylo’s sake. Not just a selfish desire on his part.

 

***

 

Ren’s return to his post did not surprise Hux.  This new version of the knight was nothing if not duty-driven.  But his appearance held subtle traces of disarray that would only be known to Hux, having seen him in more intimate circumstances.  Ren’s eyes darted around, fixing on target after target and his hands clenched into fists more often.

 

Hux had a feeling it would only take a few careful tugs to unravel the facade. But he didn’t want to hurt the man, only remind of the passion he’d once taken for granted.

 

After the incident with the saber Hux was given a wide berth, which suited him fine as it showed that Ren didn’t even fully trust himself not to become emotional in the General’s presence.

 

He had an idea but it was almost unseemly of an officer.  Almost. 

 

The endeavor would be based on Kylo's indication that he didn't want to hurt Hux and was carefully managing his emotions around him. It also relied on the assumption that the knight didn't want to lose Hux. If it worked then it would bring out the possessive tendencies Ren used to show in private, but if it didn't work… well, then it was a sign that he needed to move on, and this would give him the means to do that. 

 

Instead of offering Ren what he had to give, he would show him what he was missing. And the first step was to find an officer that Hux could plausibly want to be with.

 

It was difficult as he wasn’t particularly interested in sleeping with anyone else—especially someone of a lower rank than he was, but he really didn’t have much of a choice in that regard. He stood on the bridge with his back straight and expression stern as he scanned the officers on duty. Mitaka was objectively attractive with his soft features and dark hair, and he was smaller than Hux in both height and stature. However, Hux prefered a challenge and not someone who would trip over themselves to do everything he ordered them to. Thanisson was much the same though perhaps a little more strong willed.

 

Nothing below a lieutenant, he decided. It was a pity that Captain Phasma had no interest in men, as she would be his ideal after Ren, but it couldn’t be helped. As he went through of mental list of the officers aboard the ship he came to a decision based on the process of elimination. So rather than his choice being a particular standout, the other options were simply worse.

 

Hux left the bridge and headed towards the primary control fire room, opting to test his choice away from Ren’s presence to start with. Once he entered the fire room, his eyes searched out Lieutenant Rodinon. He was shorter than Hux but built thick and had a commanding confidence about him. He wasn’t the most clever man Hux had ever met, but he’d probably be a good fuck. Hux just hoped that Ren would step in before it got that far.

 

“Lieutenant,” Hux murmured as he came around to Rodinon’s station.  The officer didn’t even blink at the address.

 

“Sir?” he replied, with much more confidence than Hux thought was strictly warranted.  For a moment he wondered if perhaps the man nursed his own interest in Hux.

 

“I’ve been reviewing performance reports.  Your work here has been satisfactory, though Colonel Datoo notes that you have twice requested clarification of his orders as though perhaps you… disapproved.”

 

Rodinon met his gaze impassively.  Good man.

 

“Yes, Sir, I requested clarification so that I might offer tactical input.  No, Sir, I do not disapprove of the orders given to me.”

 

Datoo was a sycophant and moreover could not be trusted to do anything but put the blame on his subordinates when push came to shove.  He did not doubt that Rodinon had the right of it.  But it wouldn’t do to undermine the Colonel by commenting on it now.

 

“Very well. It would be remiss if you did not take the full scope of your expertise into consideration when relevant.  But be careful you do not step above your station.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“However,” Hux continued, aware that he walked a very thin line, “from time to time it is perfectly human to find frustration in the relaying of orders down the chain of command.  Officers with the gift for leadership may find less satisfaction in their duty if they are focused on their own promotions.  What is unacceptable is letting disatisfaction show to a superior officer.  That would be treacherous, Rodinon.  So I expect you to find other places to vent any…  _ frustration _ … you might feel in the event that this circumstance arises.”

 

“I am satisfied in my position, Sir,” Rodinon said, sounding mildly surprised.

 

“I have no doubt you are, Lieutenant.  But sometimes satisfaction must be sought in less conventional ways.”

 

Too far, Hux thought, too far.  And yet Rodinon didn’t seem to realize there was any bait before him to take.  How typical.  They spent so much time viewing their superiors as duty-focused drones that it never occurred to them that someone like Hux might wish to strip down to base urges from time to time.  In some respects it flattered him, but just now it made his life more difficult.

 

He didn’t want to be too obvious, but he would give one more push before letting the conversation stew in Rodinon’s mind. Hux had never sought out the lieutenant individually before (choosing to let Datoo deal with him instead as his immediate supervisor) so he was sure that this conversation would linger in the man’s thoughts. 

 

He carefully reached out to where Rodinon’s hand rested on the console, and let his fingertips touch the small gap of skin showing between his glove and sleeve. 

 

“You have potential, Lieutenant,” Hux said, letting his voice drop, a smirk pulling at his lips when the man’s eyes darted from his hand to his face with perhaps a spark of realization. “I’ll be observing your progress.”

 

Without waiting for any further acknowledgement, Hux took his leave. His heart beat too quickly for comfort as he made his way towards his office. He’d forgotten what the initial stages of finding a partner could feel like—dual feelings of excitement and anxiety twisting in his stomach. It wasn’t unlike hunting in which you find and choose a target before striking, hoping that you’ll hit the mark. Of course there wasn’t much hoping involved with Hux’s marksmanship as he knew he had impeccable aim. He had much less faith in his ability to court someone than to shoot them however. Thus hoping. 

 

Over the next week Hux would place himself in the same vicinity as Rodinon, and from the furtive glances he shot in Hux’s direction, Hux was certain that his plan to let it sit in his mind for a while had worked. Ren on the other hand seemed to relax now that Hux’s focus was no longer on him. He needed to make a move on the lieutenant in Ren’s sight next to see how the knight would react. 

 

A conference in the officer’s common area would fit the bill nicely. Hux hastily arranged it for the following day at the end of shift so that they would have the convenience of going off duty together.  Whatever happened after that he would have a clean conscience about the dalliance occurring off the clock.  

 

The meeting was little more than a thin veneer of morale building over an unnecessary retread of the week’s events.  If Ren suspected anything he didn’t let it show and Hux knew for a fact the knight might pick up on a strong emotion but would not be able to worm his way into his thoughts without tipping him off.  Most disturbingly Ren didn’t even seen bored by it all.  He sat at attention as though none of this were of the slightest consequence but needed to be absorbed regardless.

 

When the meeting ended they were encouraged to stay for a small get together that Hux permitted Colonel Datoo to play host to.  The man did enjoy an excuse to show off.  A droid served a small selection of beverages and soon small clusters of conversation formed around the hastily set up bar, toasting the success of the First Order.  

 

Hux hadn’t known if Kylo would stay for it or not, but he was pleased to see he had and was actually socializing. To an extent. He stood near the exit  talking in a low voice to Chief petty officer Unamo. She was one of the few officers who didn’t show fear at Ren’s presence, and Hux respected her for that. Ren didn’t deserve half the fear he’d garnered amongst their crew.

 

Knowing Ren was still present, Hux moved through the room towards Lieutenant Rodinon and the small circle of officers he was talking to. His back was to Hux so he didn’t see him approach until he’d touched a hand to his shoulder. 

 

“Lieutenant.”

 

Rodinon turned with an air of surprise but his expression quickly shifted to one that struck Hux as absurdly optimistic.  Clearly he’d gotten the message.

 

“General,” Rodinon said with a slight incline of his head.  A small smile even crossed his lips.  “I don’t suppose I could refill your drink?”

 

“You may,” Hux said, returning the small smile at the forwardness of the gesture. He felt more confident in his choice of the lieutenant as someone who would take initiative.

 

Rodinon excused himself from the others he’d been speaking to and walked with Hux over to the impromptu bar. There was a lounge with a proper bar in it several levels above this one, but it hadn’t been convenient enough for Hux’s plan. With no stools to sit at, they collected their drinks and moved towards the end of the now empty conference table.

 

Rodinon settled in his chair and clinked his glass with Hux’s.  “This is a nice way to end a day,” he murmured before taking a sip.  “Even Lord Ren seems to be… taking an interest,” he trailed off slightly.  Hux followed his line of sight and tried not to call any attention to the fact that he too noticed Kylo standing stiff against a wall with his dark eyes fixed on them.  If Hux had to give a name to the expression he’d call it suspicion.  But only because he’d learn to read the knight’s face before this newfound self-discipline.

 

Hux turned back to Rodinon and offered a flirtatious smirk.  “Yes.  A pleasant way to cap an evening.  Though I can surely think of an even more enjoyable one.”  He placed a finger on the cuff of Rodinon’s uniform and tapped it once. He didn’t deign to look at back Ren, but he felt those eyes burning into his back. He removed his finger but still let his hand linger next to the lieutenant’s on the table. 

 

“I hinted at it before, but your dedication to the Order is commendable. I appreciate having men like you in my service,” he said, keeping his voice low. Rodinon sucked in a quick breath and Hux’s smirk grew as he knew the comment was not lost on the lieutenant. His heart rate was beginning to quicken as it had before, and despite knowing that he was doing this to egg Ren on, he had to admit there was something enjoyable about this game on its own. 

 

“General,” an unmistakable voice interrupted them.  Hux turned to see Ren looming over them, scowling.  “Excuse my interruption, but I require a word with you.”

 

Those dark eyes were all but boring into him and didn’t even flick in Rodinon’s direction. His heart beat even harder as satisfaction flooded through him, knowing that this was working to get beneath the knight’s skin.

 

Hiding any trace of that excitement, Hux returned the scowl. 

 

“You are not excused,” he said firmly. This wasn’t the tipping point for Ren, yet. It needed to be pushed further.  “We can speak when I am done here.” He turned back to Rodinon and heard Ren growl at the dismissal. The lieutenant’s face paled as he looked at Ren and then back to Hux.

 

“Sir, if there’s something urgent you need to attend to I won’t keep you–”   
  


“Nonsense,” Hux cut him off. “Lord Ren can wait.”

 

A hand came down on Hux’s shoulder and gripped far tighter than necessary. Anger and excitement flared in the same instant at being touched by Ren, but anger was the only thing he could afford to show in this moment. 

 

“Ren,” he said warningly as he looked back at the knight.

 

“It’s urgent,” Ren said through gritted teeth. 

 

Hux pursed his lips before sighing and turning back to Rodinon. 

 

“Apologies, Lieutenant. It appears I have something that needs my immediate attention. Perhaps we can continue this conversation tomorrow?” The hand on his shoulder tightened to the point of pain and Hux smiled in spite of it. “In the officer’s lounge just after our shift ends.”

 

Rodinon looked from Hux to Ren and nodded.  “Of course, General.  I’ll be there.”  He left without a backwards glance and then the general was on his own.  With Ren.

 

“If you think I don’t see this ruse for what it is, you are sorely mistaken,” the knight hissed at him.

 

Hux glared at Ren, but he couldn’t deny the delight buzzing through his skin at the fact that Ren was picking a fight with him the way he used to.

 

“And what ruse is this exactly? I asked you directly if you wanted to be with me again and you shot it down without a second thought,” he hissed right back. “Am I to stay celibate forever now?”

 

Ren flinched and for a moment he seemed not a shadow of his former self but the same man who’d left to complete his training with Snoke; angry, unfocused, and  _ needy.   _ Snoke could focus and calm him but only Hux could fulfill Ren.  Only Hux could meet the primal need inside.  And he would be damned if Ren would toss him away now and pretend that need had abated.

 

“With  _ him _ ?” Ren practically snarled, “What could you possibly want there?  You’re obviously attempting to solicit my attention.  Don’t pretend such a man isn’t beneath you.”

 

Hux rolled his eyes and only just stopped himself from groaning with exasperation. “ _ Everyone _ on this ship is beneath me, Ren. My options in that department are limited to you if I want something of an equal. I strategically picked him as the next best suited to meet my needs. Why does this have to be about you?”

 

Ren was right of course. Hux could only hope that he wasn’t picking up on that through the force, but if he gave that away now he couldn’t be certain that Ren would come back to him. This reaction was one of the best that he could’ve hoped for, but it wasn’t a guarantee of anything.

 

Ren’s scowl deepened, if such a thing were possible, and he withdrew from Hux’s personal space with a hint of a glare, striding out of the conference room before Hux could react.

 

He knew that walk and he knew that scowl.  Ren was jealous.

 

Hux let out a measured breath and brought his drink to his lips to hide the smile he could feel building. Kylo had been so stoic since he’d returned to the Finalizer that he hadn’t known if he’d be able to bring this kind of emotion out from the man again. At least in an area that wasn’t directly related to work. After a few minutes to let Ren get his distance, Hux excused himself from the makeshift social that he’d arranged for the sole purpose of getting under Ren’s skin. Part of him felt giddy and disbelieving that it’d actually worked, but he knew he couldn’t let himself get too confident yet. Before leaving the room his eyes found Rodinon in the room and he smirked when their gazes met. Tomorrow things would fall into place.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

 

Hux’s shift the next day kept him busy enough that he could put this plan to get Ren back out of his thoughts. Now, however, he sat at the bar in the officer’s lounge a few minutes early to meet Rodinon and his brain wouldn’t stop over analyzing it. Kylo made himself scarce throughout the entire day—making it easier to ignore this situation. Ren knew of Hux’s plan to meet with Rodinon, he made sure of that, and at first he’d been confident that Ren would show up and make a scene of it, but now with his absence throughout the first part of the day he wasn’t so sure. What if Ren would really let it go? What if he’d just stew and let himself stay bitter about it without actually taking any action? If it happened then Hux would just have to resign himself to someone sub par. 

 

As the minutes ticked by waiting for Rodinon, Hux’s grew more anxious. Another possibility would be that Ren might just meditate or whatever it was he did, and get over the feelings of jealousy that he’d shown yesterday. Ren was nothing if not tenacious and if his goal was to cut Hux out of his life then he would undoubtedly succeed. 

 

Rodinon arrived in a timely fashion, only minutes after the shift officially ended, striding into the room as though he owned it.  No hesitation there, which pleased Hux to a small degree-—helped him to reframe it in his mind as a win-win situation-- and he pushed down the fleeting feeling of loss that served him no purpose if Ren truly had made up his mind.

 

“General.” Rodinon inclined his head.

 

“Lieutenant,” Hux said nodding back. Rodinon sat on the stool next to him and rested an arm on the bar, leaning closer to Hux than strictly necessary. This was good, he told himself. This was what he’d wanted in the scenario that Ren didn’t show. He let out a measured breath and caught the bartender’s attention for the lieutenant. He’d already ordered a whiskey neat in an attempt to settle his nerves for this.

 

“I’ll have the same,” Rodinon told the droid, indicating Hux’s glass.  To Hux he said: “You’ve always struck me as the whiskey type.  A lot of the senior officers say it’s less refined than an aged Corellian brandy but I wouldn’t trade it for all the vineyards of Coronet City.”  

 

He took a sip and made a small noise of approval, leaning in to clink glasses with Hux.

 

Hux hummed and gave Rodinon and small smirk. “Corellian brandy is good, of course, but it’s more of a statement than anything. Flashing credits around is rather pointless here.” They both took a sip of their drinks and then Hux turned his body towards Rodinon. “Before we were so rudely interrupted yesterday, I believe we left off with my appreciation of your service?”

 

“You flatter me, Sir,” Rodinon said, his tone indicating pleasure at the attention.  “But I doubt you agreed to meet here to discuss my service record.  I’m not a junior officer, I understand discretion.”

 

Hux smiled a little wider before returning to his resting face. “I’m glad my intentions aren’t lost. It can be difficult to satisfy... certain needs holding the position that I have within the Order, so discretion is of the utmost importance in this situation.”

 

The door to the lounge opened in that moment, and Hux’s heart skipped a beat thinking that Kylo had finally appeared, but when he glanced over he saw that it was only a few officers coming off of their shift. Hux looked back to Rodinon and tried not to feel any disappointment.

 

“I’m interested in your service in another manner if you’re so inclined.”

 

Rodinon shifted in his seat and favored Hux with an appraising look.

 

“I hoped for nothing less. Though if I may say, General, you appear to be a bit distracted.”

 

Hux felt his cheeks warm at the unexpectedness of being called out. Rodinon wasn’t wrong, he was still hoping for Ren to come through that door, but he hadn’t realized he’d been so obvious about it.

 

“Apologies,” he said taking a quick sip of his drink. “As I mentioned before, discretion is key here so I’ll admit to being on edge about others being around.” It was a perfect segue to move to Hux’s quarters, but Kylo still hadn’t appeared. It would become too awkward if he waited much longer now that his intentions were out there and Rodinon had accepted. They’d only been there for about ten minutes, but if Ren was planning on doing something about it he probably would’ve already made his move. Hux finished the rest of his drink and looked to Rodinon.

 

“Shall we move somewhere more private?” he asked softly.

 

“Your quarters or mine?” Rodinon asked, placing his hand on Hux’s arm in a way that spoke to his intent.  When they stood to leave Hux reflected on the choice and decided that he’d come this far already, he might as well see it through to it’s conclusion.  And if he were ever feeling out of sorts he could seek this comfort out again.  Assuming Rodinon enjoyed his company, of course.  

 

They were on their way out of the lounge when a sudden chill overtook Hux, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up.  The room filled with a strange energy and before he could properly react, Ren swept into the entrance and stood blocking their path, his eyes flashing.

 

Hux stopped immediately as relief and anticipation flooded through his body. Ren’s anger was palpable, stirring nerves in Hux’s stomach and making his skin itch. This was it. This was the final point of Ren breaking out of that insufferable, stoic shell he’d been in since his arrival.

 

“Ren,” Hux said keeping his features blank despite his certainty the knight could feel the excitement coming off him in waves. Dark eyes locked onto Hux’s and he snarled before giving Rodinon a look like he wanted to skin the man alive.

 

To Rodinon’s credit, he didn’t cower but he did take a step away from Hux.  As though Hux were a live wire that the lieutenant found himself too close to for comfort.

 

When Ren spoke Hux  _ felt _ it in the air around him.

 

“Did you think I would stand aside and let an unworthy man take what is mine?” the knight growled, drawing the stares of everyone in the lounge.   _ “Did you think I would permit it?” _

 

Chills shot down Hux’s spine to hear such raw and possessive emotion in Ren’s voice, and arousal started building at the knowledge that his plan had worked. Part of him wanted to argue that he wasn’t an object that could be owned, but to hell with it. He wanted to be Ren’s. His neutral expression cracked, and a smug smirk pulled at his lips, which of course only enraged Ren further.

 

“I was hoping that you wouldn’t,” he admitted, giving up on the facade that he could hold more interest in Rodinon than Kylo.

 

“I saw through your pathetic attempt to provoke me, but I did not imagine you would stoop so low as to carry through with it.”  

 

With his old flair for drama Ren emphasized his words with a sweep of his hand that shattered the whiskey glasses on the table.  Though they were practically the same height, when he stalked forward to face Hux he  _ loomed. _

 

“You’re coming with me.”

 

Hux stood his ground, staring up at Ren’s face and studying features currently twisted with hate. He should’ve been more careful with this; he knew he was playing with fire when he’d come up with this plan to bring out Ren’s jealousy, but the flames of it were just too beautiful not to bask in.

 

Remembering the small crowd in the lounge, Hux looked briefly around. Everyone was staring in shock and even Hux could feel the fear threading through the room that Ren might turn this anger on them. Most of all Rodinon, who was looking at the two of them as though he’d just been assigned a suicide mission.

 

“Lieutenant,” Hux said sharply, and the man flinched as he met Hux’s gaze. “Your service has, again, been appreciated.” The man looked like he wanted to be angry with Hux but was too afraid to do anything about it. Rightfully so, Hux thought.

 

“Ren, we’re leaving. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

 

Without a word Ren lifted him.  Hux thought for a fleeting moment that he would be thrown with the force and braced himself for it, but to his extreme dismay it was the knight’s own hands on him and he found himself flung gracelessly over Ren’s shoulder.  He let loose a string of curses and threats, momentarily unconcerned with his own command presence as Ren headed for the door, leaving a slack-jawed Rodinon behind.

 

Ren carted him down the hall, ignoring everyone who stood in his way. Hux struggled to get down, but Ren held him firm.

 

“I hate you,” Hux hissed. Ren let out a sharp laugh, but didn’t slow down until they reached Hux’s quarters. The door was opened with the force and slammed shut the same way after they entered the room. 

 

Hux’s heart attempted to beat its way out of his chest and tremors ran through him in anxious anticipation. As gracelessly as he’d been picked up he was thrown onto the bed. Hux righted himself so that he was on his back, propping himself up with his elbows.

 

“Is this what you wanted?” Ren growled, “To push me to act?  You have no idea how I’ve longed to take you. The crux of my self-control has been compromised and you treat it as a game.  Now who’s behaving childishly?”

 

He practically ripped Hux’s belt from his uniform and glared at him as he grabbed his wrists to bind them together and shoved them above his head, quickly looping the belt through the bedframe and trapping him there.

 

In another moment he’d tugged off Hux’s boots and pants, leaving him vulnerable below the waist. Hux was breathing hard as he let himself be pushed around by Ren. It was exhilarating to be the focus of this sort of energy, and he knew he should feel some measure of guilt for sabotaging Ren’s self-control but he didn’t.

 

Hux was fully expecting Ren to immediately finger him just enough before pulling out his cock and fucking him within an inch of his life. Instead, after Hux’s hands were secure, Ren stood up and gazed down at Hux with a look that bordered on accusatory. 

 

“Children shouldn’t be rewarded for bad behavior,” Ren said, his voice heavy with frustration.

 

Hux’s heart plummeted as he worried Ren would leave him like this, but he didn’t have to worry long before Ren began to take off his own clothes. He watched hungrily as skin he hadn’t seen in months was bared to him, and he longed to be able to reach out and touch. There were new scars along his torso, the most prominent one being the side wound that hadn’t finished healing when Ren left. He wanted to kiss and touch all of them, but knew he wouldn’t be allowed to yet. Being at Kylo’s mercy like this had his cock growing hard as he waited to find out what the knight had in store for him.

 

“How long has it been, General?  Were you really waiting for me?”  Ren pulled off his undergarments, baring his own erection.  “Did you miss this?  I can sense your desire even now.  Your control is slipping.”

 

Ren climbed onto the bed and pushed Hux’s legs in the air to study his cock as though it were some specimen in a lab.  Hux gritted his teeth, aching for contact.  When Ren swiped a finger down to tickle his entrance he sucked in a breath.

 

“You didn’t even prepare yourself for him.  Perhaps you thought he would take his time.  Or perhaps you didn’t think the event would occur at all.  Don’t you see how pathetic this trick was?”

 

With a growl of irritation Ren hoisted his legs higher and glared at him between them.

 

“I’m not inclined to be gentle with you.”

 

“And I don’t want you to be,” Hux said while pulling against the belt restraining his wrists. As much as he wanted Ren to take control, he didn’t like being unable to touch him. It’d been far too long and he wanted to get his fill. 

 

The way Ren pushed his knees practically to his chest had him breathing hard, and he barely hid his wince when they were stretched just past what was comfortable.

 

“Let yourself go,” he said, his voice strained. “I want to see my Kylo.”

 

A startled look crossed the knights face and he released Hux’s legs and climbed atop him, slowly grinding his cock against Hux’s. Hux groaned as he finally got a taste of the stimulation he wanted.

 

“Do you think this belongs to you?” Ren hissed, giving him one more thrust of the hips before pulling back.  “You dare to lay claim to me after nearly bedding that  _ useless–!” _   Another growl tore from his throat as he loomed over Hux.  A large hand gripped his sack like a vice, squeezing it just enough to cause pain and make Hux cry out.

 

“And who does  _ this _ belong to?” 

 

Hux clenched his teeth and breathed hard through his nose.

 

“ _ Me _ ,” he answered stubbornly.

 

“Try again,” Ren whispered, leaning in close as he twisted his grip.

 

Hux wailed, his back arched and muscles were held tight against the hot pain. When Ren said he wasn’t inclined to be gentle, he hadn’t been playing. The hand relaxed just enough for Hux to catch his breath, but it was still uncomfortably tight and he knew if he didn’t tell the knight what he wanted to hear then the pain would come back. Despite knowing that he wasn’t ready to give in yet.

 

“I remember you saying you didn’t want this anymore,” he challenged, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

 

The pressure on his balls diminished as Ren drew back and knelt between his legs again.  To Hux’s astonishment the knight leaned down to press a kiss to them as though in apology.  

 

“I have wanted you every single day since my return,” Ren said vehemently.  “I’ve thought about nothing but having my way with you in this very bed.  I am  _ weak _ for you, and it’s destroying me piece by piece.”

 

He ran his index finger down the underside of Hux’s shaft and then took it in his fist but the touch remained gentle.

 

“Obsessing over this.  Can you imagine my humiliation?  Master of the Knights of Ren, Snoke’s greatest pupil, and heir to all the power of the Force and here I am slavering like a dog for you.  Desperate for you.  And not just your cock.”

 

Ren hung his head as though he were too ashamed to meet Hux’s eyes.  He squeezed Hux a little in way that was as absurdly frustrating as it was stimulating.

 

“I missed all of you.  If it were merely pleasure—filling and being filled by you—I might have stood the loss forever.  But I am unworthy of my training.  How could you have done this to me?”

 

Hux felt floored by the confession. He hadn’t expected the level of disappointment that Ren would feel because of this. While the knight was gone it was more than just the sex that he’d missed as well. It was his presence, his opinions, his whole being. Thinking on it, it was why he’d been so thrown when he’d returned as a shadow of himself. This whole charade with Rodinon had been a ploy to bring back the Ren that he’d missed.

 

The serious tone this had taken was making it hard for him to stay erect even with Ren still stroking him. 

 

“Kylo Ren, you over-dramatic piece of shit.”

 

Ren’s head snapped back up to meet Hux’s eyes and his lip curled in a snarl, but Hux kept going before he could interrupt.

 

“This isn’t what makes you weak. I am not making you weak. What we have? This is what gives you passion. I’ve seen it, and it carries over into everything else you do. Snoke is trying to rid you of attachments so that he will be the only one you’re loyal to. Telling you that our preoccupation with each other caused our downfall with Starkiller? Nonsense. There is nothing we could’ve done differently to prevent what had happened back then. Well. I suppose you did fuck up by leaving the girl alone and then not telling me that they had access to the main oscillators–”

 

“Hux,” Ren growled.

 

“Fine. The point is it’s not us. You’re not unworthy of your training because you want to be with me, and the only time you’re unworthy of it is when you doubt yourself like this. You’re  _ worthy _ , Kylo. Now stop being dramatic and fuck me.”

 

If Hux’s hands weren’t bound at that moment he would be shaking Ren just then. He wanted to slap him and then pull him close to try and convey somehow that this was ok. He didn’t know anything about the Force but he doubted that mastery of it had something to do with who you cared about. Logically it made more sense to him that having someone you wanted to be with would make your connection to it stronger. Having someone you wanted to protect would drive you to be more dedicated.

 

Ren gazed at him for a long moment and then lifted his hand, making the small compartment in Hux’s nightstand open.  Hux sighed in relief and leaned back, already anticipating the warm slide of Ren’s fingers, liberally coated in lubricant, at his opening.

 

He was not disappointed.  The knight, however, seemed more concerned with quick preparation than pleasure and Hux wondered if this was Ren’s way of “punishing” him further.  He rejected that thought immediately as the tip of Ren’s cock teased at his entrance, pushing in just enough to torment him with a slow stretch.

 

“Who does this belong to?” he asked again, a finger circling his aching hole before Ren’s cock pushed in for a second time after a liberal reapplication of lube.

 

Hux huffed, a smile pulling at his lips as he saw Ren,  _ his _ Ren, start to come back.

 

“You,” he said. 

 

Ren pushed in further until the head of his cock was fully inside of him and Hux dropped his head back with a moan. The prep hadn’t been quite enough, but it hurt so perfectly and he wanted more.

 

“Tell me I’m the only one who pleases you.  No one else can have you,” Ren whispered as he held Hux there, squirming on his cock.

 

Warmth bloomed in Hux’s chest to hear the vulnerability in Ren’s voice. This wasn’t just asserting his claim over Hux, this was him needing assurance that Hux wanted him and no one else.

 

“You’re the only one, Ren. I’m yours.”

 

Ren let out a needy little moan and slid deeper inside, each slow centimeter making Hux shudder around him.  As he began to pump his hips he tugged at Hux’s hair a little and nipped at his chin in the fond, familiar way the general had grown accustomed to.  With a grunt of satisfaction, Hux tightened his thighs around Ren, wishing he could hold him in his arms but profoundly aroused by the tug of his bindings as struggled to meet each thrust.

 

“Faster,” he murmured, needing something more than the almost worshipful way Ren was sliding into him. Ren obliged and started fucking him in earnest, his hands gripping hard around his waist. Hux wanted to bruise, he wanted to be sore, he wanted to feel being fucked by Ren for the next day at least. Soon the sound of skin smacking skin filled the room alongside the sound of their labored breathing, and pleasure rippled up Hux’s spine, spreading through his limbs like static.

 

“Yes,” Hux moaned. “Stars, yes, I missed this. Fuck, I missed you. Come on, harder.”

 

Ren pressed his face against Hux’s neck and bit down hard enough to leave a mark, Hux was certain of it.  He whispered a sentimental affirmation to his knight in lieu of running soothing fingers through his hair.  The moment his hands were free he would make up for that particular lack of contact.

 

“You’re mine,” Ren murmured again and again, as though desperate to affirm it to himself.  To Hux’s surprise he found his attempt to return the claim interrupted by the crush of Ren’s mouth against his.  

 

In all the time they’d spent together there had been an unspoken agreement that the act of kissing was far too intimate for their encounters.  Neither had ever attempted it, which satisfied Hux.  Easier to compartmentalize.  Now he drank desperation from Ren’s lips and fed it back to him with a muffled moan.  Ren’s climax came abruptly, as though somehow triggered by that small sound, the victory of the kiss.

 

His head was spinning when Ren pulled back to pant against his cheek as he came inside Hux with shallow thrusts, working himself through his orgasm. Hux’s own orgasm wasn’t close enough to be able to come from just having Ren inside of him, so he gave the knight a moment to come down from it before urging him on.

 

“Touch me. I need your hand on me,” he whispered.

 

Ren nodded, rubbing his nose against Hux’s face and then pulling back to spit in his hand. Long fingers wrapped around Hux’s cock and started pumping him in quick, short motions until Hux grew short of breath. He murmured praise and encouragement as he felt mounting pleasure build in his gut before his voice cut off in his throat and his orgasm tore through him in waves. Ren’s hand slowed but didn’t let go until Hux was left shaking and oversensitive.

 

Without a word Ren freed him from the belt and drew him into a tight embrace, ignoring the mess drying between them.

 

“I’ve neglected you and paid the price.  I’ll never leave you again,” the knight whispered into his ear before pulling back and touching his face.

 

When Hux brought his hands down he found that they were still shaking, but it was less from the sex and more from the emotion that he could feel pouring out of Ren. He’d never been great at receiving affection or comforting anyone else, but he couldn’t deny that the strength of his desire for Ren went beyond a physical level. He lifted his hand to rest over Ren’s on his cheek, and stroked his thumb against it. How was he supposed to react to Ren saying he’d never leave him again? The notion of it was highly improbable. Then again, the statement was more sentiment than it was logic.

 

Rather than say anything in response, Hux used his other hand to guide Ren’s face towards his and kiss him again. The kiss was slow and searching, both of them getting a feel for the other in a way they hadn’t previously allowed themselves. Ren was softer like this, more tentative and gentle in his movements and touches, and Hux enjoyed knowing that an immeasurable strength lay beneath that could so easily break him if Ren so chose.

 

After a minute they parted and Hux ran his hand through Ren’s hair in the way he’d been longing to since he knew that Ren was his again.

 

“It’s good to have you back,” Hux said quietly.

 

Ren studied his face and then broke into a wicked smile.  “I don’t suppose any of the other officers will dare lay a hand on you now.  Good,” he added, kissing the underside of Hux’s jaw.  “I’ll kill any man who touches you.”

 

Hux groaned and then shoved Kylo so he was next to him instead of on top of him. “I almost forgot about you carrying me, you ass. How is anyone going to be able to take me seriously after seeing that?”

 

It was a major hit to Hux’s ego to have lesser officers see him tossed over Ren’s shoulder, kicking and squirming to get down to no avail. That aside though, he loved hearing Ren say that he’d kill anyone else who tried to touch him. It wasn’t as though he needed any protection, but that the fierce possessiveness Ren had for him was thrilling.

 

“You enjoyed it,” Ren taunted, touching Hux’s lower lip.  “And no one will defy you because they know you will destroy them.  And if you don’t,  _ I _ will.  Who would dare stand against us now?”

The knight yawned and nestled against him, throwing an arm over his chest.

 

“You’re just lucky I didn’t wait until you were alone with that bastard, Rodinon, so I could abduct you from his quarters in whatever state of undress I found you in.  Don’t you dare think I wouldn’t.  I would have you collared and bound to my bed for such insolence.”

 

Hux purred at the image and Ren found his lips again.  

 

“Who does this belong to?” Ren asked a final time, cupping Hux’s cheek in one hand and gazing into his eyes.

 

Hux didn’t hesitate.

 

“You.”  

 


End file.
